An Invitation to Dream Big in 2011
In a little under 2 weeks I turn 31, and like many women, I seem to be more prone to internal crises and breakdowns when birthday season rolls around.
Just last week I wrote these exact words in my journal:
I am screwed. I have forgotten how to dream big or really believe big dreams can come true.
And then just a few days later, these words:
My heart actually aches with desire to be what I’ll never be and to do what I’ll never do.
Why all the drama? Most days I feel so grateful for my life, but suddenly something was eating at me.
You’ll laugh when you hear it, but here it is:
I watched Beyonce’s World Tour and from out of know where I longed to be her. To be Beyonce. To do a World Tour.
Crazy, I know. But then it snow-balled even further. I lamented not becoming any of the three A’s I once dreamed to be: Anthropologist/Astronat/Actress. I questioned my decision to quit gymnastics when I was 14. I beat myself up about not living in Italy.
Where did this come from? I’ve never been able to sing so why did I all of a sudden feel like not becoming a Rock Star was the let down of my life?
As you can imagine, I felt ridiculous. But I also felt like whatever was bubbling up was important…and an indicator of something deeper going on. So I got down on my knees and prayed.
Lord, what the heck is this Beyonce Heartache about? Why am I all of a sudden torn up about not becoming the Olympic Gymnast/Actress/Astraunot/Rockstar I dreamed I could be when I was a little girl? I trust that you have great plans for me, but why is my heart mourning for by-gone dreams?
I heard nothing. But I did feel peace sweep over me and my anxiety dropped down a few notches, enough for me to sleep. In the morning I woke up with my heart whispering this:
Remember when you were a little girl and you used to make up songs on the Piano and you thought that one day you could be a Debbi Gibson? That’s what that Beyonce Heartache was about. A part of you did wish you could be a rockstar one day, but life happened and your heart got broken because someone told you had a horrible voice. And then you let that dream disappear, because you let someone else convince you were not cut out for it.
Here is the lesson in all of this: Take your dreams seriously. Protect them. Protect them. Protect them. Do not give up on the desires of your heart. Do not give them over to fear or discouragement or doubt, or feeling ‘not good enough.’ Your dreams are important. And, your dreams are not over. Now is the time to dream new dreams. Get excited about that.
I opened up my journal, flipped to a new page, and wrote:
What new dreams might I dream for my life now?
That same day a dear friend of mine (who had no idea about the internal crises I was in the middle of) sent me the link to Mondo Beyondo and told me I needed to take the class. I clicked on the link and here is what I read:
What happens when you give an unspoken wish a place to become a dream come true? How do you gather the courage required to help a new found dream soar? Join seasoned dreamers Andrea Scher and Jen Lemen as together we explore Mondo Beyondo–the powerful point of view that transforms our deepest dreams into practical realities.
Uncanny, right? This is exactly what I needed: An invitation to a community where all of us where going to be to dreaming new dreams, and learning how to take those dreams seriously. I signed up, pronto. It was more than perfect timing, it’s my 31st birthday gift to myself. 
What Birthday or Christmas Gift are you giving yourself this year?
Fellow bloggers, photogs, mothers, friends, I’m not sure where you are at personally, but if you are anywhere in the realm of “I want my life to be more than I’ve settled for and I’m willing to open a new door of possibility to find out what that means” then the Mondo Beyondo Jan 2011 class on Dreaming Big might be just what you need too. (Related note: More than a few of my friends who took the class last May have said it literally changed their life. Are you ready for that!?)
Whether or not you sign up to take the class with us, please be dreaming. And just as importantly, please be taking those dreams seriously. If you do sign up, let me know so we can lean on each other for accountability…I like a tight-knit community of supporters when I’m daring to dream, don’t you?
And for a topic of conversation, do you think dreams have time-limits on them? expiration dates? I’m really interested on your experiences: have windows ever shut on your dreams?
